Gothic girl
Are your amethyst black lips
replicating the color
of your soul
or your pierced
labia?
Do you walk the cemetery
whispering secretes
in the ears
of the dead
asking for redemption
of dreaming books,
of sparrows,
or dead mice.
Do each
Of your
markings
littering your wrist
tell
a story,
or did you just
grow up
in the suburbs?
This is a new poem that is apart of my packet that I handed out in class. This is my first version. I have done no revisions to this poem. Personally, I truely enjoy the poem as it is, but I'm open to revisions. How do you (as the reader) feel about the poem? Do you like blunt approach?
ReplyDeleteI like the form of this poem and the white space. I think the white space portrays a thought as you assess the person in the poem. As I read the poem I wondered what the markings on the girl’s wrist were… a mouse?... sparrow ... maybe a skull? You could describe the markings to be more detailed. Otherwise, I do like the bluntness and freshness of this poem. I also like how you ended the poem with a question.
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